words by any other name would be another word

So I hijacked ol' Billy Shaskepeare's words...kind of. But that's the thing.
Words. They're amazing, incredible...just...ah!!

Words can inspire, create envy or love or passion, jealousy. Words paint pictures of beauty, pulling on your brain's neurons, triggering your senses.

Words can hurt, can crush. They can heal and save. Words can flow through us and make us chatter endlessly. Or they can suddenly stop; can't find the right word or have too many words to say at once.

That's the thing. We have so many words to say the same thing: I'm happy, I'm joyous, I'm tired, I'm sleepy, I'm angry, I'm mad. No one will say anything to same way ro ever write anything the same way. My comm teacher would tell us that there is nothing original left out there, nothing for anyone to newly create, just the same story line with a little flourish. But I beg to differ. Sure it can be boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love etc, but that doesn't mean you've ever read my story.

Words are just stunning. It's funny to think that we can talk endlessly about our days, about class or work. But when the words matter, we spend hours, days on making them sound right. The minute we know they may become slightly memorable, words are suddenly worth something.

It's odd...not to long ago I received this awful comment on my facebook. None of which I believe is true, but they were awful things about me. It reduced me to tears made me reconsider myself.


"Dear Laura,
This is what i would tell you if you were to die tomorrow.
Most of your friends hate you.
And the only reason you have a boyfriend is because you have him whipped. Otherwise, he probably wouldn't be dating you.
Your friends put up this act because if you actually knew they hated you, you would probably be terminally depressed.
A) You're extremely loud and annoying. You may think "it's just who i am" but actually, you think you're SO AWESOME WHEN YOU SAY STUFF REALLY LOUD, actually its fucking annoying.
B) You think you're the shit. NEWSFLASH: YOU'RE NOT! Actually you're far from it. You probably have no idea that ATLEAST 10 people have a countdown to graduation because that means they never have to deal with you again.
C) You're a bitch and extremely bossy.
D) You cry ALL THE FUCKING time for attention.
E is for Emily because she is NOTHING like you (except maybe D) But most people like her a hell of a lot more than you, which is probably why she's had more boyfriends.

Sincerely,
One of your best friends."

it's hard to believe anyone would ever use those words...I see and read and say these words always yet in that combination they broke me down. reduced me into a puddle of self-loathing.
Then, my friends and family to the rescue. Simple phrases like: "Laura, you know that's not true! Don't believe what they say! you're a wonderful person." inched me back into happiness.

Words can create love and passion, inspiration. Yet words can cause pain and hurt, destroy people into nothing. Words can make us fall in love or make us hurt ourselves.

Words truly are astonishing.

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I have no idea what to write today. :) But I realized I haven't written in a while. So I thought I'd update with...something. Hmmm... how about...I do...my favorites? Yea? Well...favorites and guilty pleasures. :)

ok. Here we go!

Music: favorite band: Paramore. If you've never heard of Paramore, get off my blog and go listen, then you may come back and read. ahaha. Just kidding. :) Though you really should go listen. And go to any concert you get the chance to go to. Hayley Williams is one of my all time favorite people; her voice is just so amazing!
Other then that, I love pretty much all kinds of music. :)

Books: Oh my good golly gosh, I love books! I can't even pick a favorite. :) Though I have to send my love out to Harry Potter. I am such an HP nerd! I am so glad I have a season pass to Harry Potter World. :) It's the best! (yes, nerd. Twilight can suck it.)

TV: Big Bang Theory. also a nerdy goody. :) And a crime show. And a guilty pleasure
: ghost shows. Even though my over active imagination tends to go crazy with those shows. :)

Clothes: uhmm....I have no idea. I'm just thinking of random subjects. I love dresses and skirts and skinny jeans. Just like everyone else. lol.

Shoes: My converse, black and silver flats, and my black sandals. Oh! And my black patent leather pumps. :)

Uhhhm...

Movies: Too many. :)

School Subject: psychology. It's awesome and so is my professor.

Guilty Pleasures: chocolate covered strawberries and pretzels, knitting, smoothies, ghost shows, youtube, make-up and sweet tea. :)

Dear Uterus,

What have I done to you? Seriously. It's not like I've ever stabbed you...yes i know my seat belt sits low, but I'm not the one driving,so when the brakes slam, you're not the only thing crushed.
And another thing...don't get angry at me because I don't give you a baby! That's way inappropriate! I'm 18 for crying out loud! I don't need a baby...maybe I should just get you removed.
...
Until I actually want babies.
I blame you, oh uterus, for so many things...cramps. Oh cramps...why...why oh why oh why?! You put yourself and me through that? You don't need to! It's terrible...
And don't think you're getting out of this hormones: thanks for making me cry too much, and break out, and want way too much chocolate...You and the cramps and the dumb chocolate...though...the chocolate helps with the cramps...but not the breaking out. Grr all of you...

oh, damn you uterus...

Love,
Laura

I kind of suck at this whole blog thing. -_-

Oh well. :) It's my first one and I've been working through school. I haven't quite gotten my school balance right yet. I do tend to sit at the school a lot, yet I rarely do home work because in my (crazy) mind I figure "I just spent 2 hours, if not more, in class and my brain just needs a break..." so out come the book and the iPod...oh well. :)
Being in college is so freaking sweet. Of course I do wish I had gone off to a four year school right off the back, but I'm proud of where I'm going and I'll get to a four year eventually. :) My education is any less important because I'm in community college then those of my friends, but again I'm happy. :) Plus, regardless of what anyone says, this does give me time to work out school with my boyfriend since he's a few years ahead of me, this will give us time to work out school together (meaning we won't have to be too far from each other) and I like that. I don't want distance to be what ruins us.
I've put off my homework for the past two days, while all the elementary/middle/high schools have off monday, I have my first test. Then another test on tuesday for biology and an essay due. Oh! and a speech. ... right. Time for work but instead of doing that, I'm blogging and watching "The Game Plan" with Duane (Dwayne? y? i?) "The Rock" Johnson...it was in USA. ;)
So...what else...oh! I never even posted anything about my 18 birthday! It wasn't the most exciting birthday...I had my 7 am class. -_- And, my parents kind of forgot about my birthday...yea...so anyway, despite having to get up early, I got an awesome surprise!!! Year passes to Island of Adventure/ Universal!!! So I spent the day there (in a princess tiara!) and yes I saw Harry Potter World I was beyond happy about that. :) The next day, my parents went present shopping. Got a couple things: gift cards to moe's and rave, new ear phones (yay!!!) and a huge cake. :) Sam, Jimmy's sister, got me this adooooooorable dress! And I bought myself concert tickets to Paramore (at UCF arena). Plus I got a massive amount of happy birthdays on facebook. So, while it wasn't an extravagant birthday, it was a nice one.
Now since I mentioned it before, the Paramore concert was too amazing for words. :) I was mad at myself for forgetting my camera...but I saw my favorite band ever and got to stay with the best older sister and future brother-in-law! There were three opening bands: Ada Watha (I believe it was...) a new band all the way from Sweden, then New Found Glory, and then Teagan and Sara. I felt like it just took forever for Paramore to finally come on, but so worth the wait when they did. The set was amazing, the arena was packed and we sat right above back stage. :) I didn't have VIP seats like my friend, and I wasn't in general admission where the luckiest couple of kids got to go on stage with Paramore, but I wouldn't have traded the night for anything else. One of the best nights of my life. Jimmy bought me a tank top that says the new album and the back says Paramore. I would live in the shirt is I could and if I wasn't so worried about it being worn out. ;)
random side note: I wish I was a ballerina...
Let's see what else...
Today (9/11) I happily celebrate a year and a half with my amazing boyfriend Jimmy. He means beyond everything to me, I absolutely love him and love being with him. He's the best thing in my life! He makes me happy and I love him. Yes, I'm mushy and cheesy, but I like it like that!
Also today, while I am happy, I do remember what happened 9 years ago. At the time I was living in Germany and don't remember much other then my mom coming to get me in the middle of the school day. All the grown ups were scared and acting funny and I had no idea what was going on. Then I saw the TV screen my parents had been trying to avoid having me see. I was scared and shocked, confused. The news said to lock the door, no one would say what was happening. I walked up and lock our door, even if we were across the ocean of the targets. I cried, I was so scared. Now, years later I have such an understanding of what happened. it's a terrible moment in our history and I just want to say that every single live lost in all the attacks on that day are not forgotten and you were not lost in vain. To all the their families, while you still may grieve, remember that the entire country is remembering you lost son/daughter and that we all send our strength to you. To all the heros at Ground Zero and at the other attack grounds, while you may still have nightmares, while you mourn you fallen team members, your bravery and your honor to serve your country at it's time of need is beyond the call of duty and we will be forever in your dept. To all involved on 9/11 some of you may be gone, but never forgotten. May you have the strength to look back on this day without much grief and fully accept all of our well wishes and strength.
I love all my readers (Megan I know you're there!!!) who ever you may be,
Laura

To Sum It All Up

I have just started my second week of college. And I really wanted to post a blog about my first week this past weekend, but you know how that goes. ;)
So here I go...
Monday: Monday I have two classes one being my seven a.m. class and the next being at 10:50...right. :) So my 7 am class turned out to be pretty good. For whatever reason that morning, when i woke up at 5:45 I was happy and bouncing off the walls, which is a good way to start out any day...I just wonder if it's normal to start that way at 5:45...Anyway, :)I like my professor for psych a lot and the class thus far has proved extremely interesting. I've never taken a psych class before, and yes I have to take it, but I've always wanted to take one. :) Then after class got done an hour later, I had three hours until I had to go to my next class....so...I had no idea where anything was or what to do. Thus far I had only one class and no homework. So I went to the one place I actually knew where it was, the admissions building. Inside there, there is a lot of seating and tables and computers you can use, so it wasn't awkward to be just sitting there. So my sister and I sat on one of the comfiest couches ever and just waited. And waited. At about 8:15 my boyfriend popped up saying his teacher never showed up to class, so he sat with us and we talked. Then he went into the cashier's office to pay for tuition and other expensive crap. Now the cashier's office is directly in front of the couch we were sitting on and has a huge class window that looks out into that little sitting area. So Jimmy, my boyfriend, turns around and starts laughing at us. Now, my sister and i are not the tallest people in the world...we're 5'2...so sitting all the way back on that couch, our feet don't touch the ground. Jimmy is of course 6'5, so sitting on that couch his feet actually touch the ground. Anyway, Jimmy leaves a little bit later for his other class and Emily was lame and called her boyfriend and left...the stinker. So I'm sitting there, by myself and trying not to look awkward...
Jimmy popped back up and ta-da! His other class was canceled. So it wasn't too bad. :) And then my friend Brandon came up.
It was about half an hour before my next class when I realized I'd be going to class by myself. Earlier I had my sister and friend. This time it would be in a class with no one I knew...I was panicking a little bit...only a little bit...ok a lot a bit.
But it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. My comm teacher is a psycho...I mean a psycho...he tries to be funny and shouts and cusses a lot. Most of the things he says are funny, but some I feel like they try too hard...And his comments are a bit sexists...anyway, that class proved extremely interesting and one of those you know you'll learn a lot. Our first assignment was to copy and paste a fairy tale (I chose Beauty and the Beast) and modernize it. It was a sweet assignment, since I like to write. :)
Tuesday:
I get to sleep in. :) My one class on tuesday and thursday isn't until 12:15. So it's nice to have the house to myself in the morning. There is no bigger rush then peeing with the door open. hahaha just kidding. My bio teacher is a little odd, takes a little while to explain things, but it's not to bad. And by thursday I had friends...and ok I already knew one. :)
Wednesday: was pretty much the same as monday, just with speech class in between the two other classes. It's a pointless class to me. But maybe I'll learn something. It's also a hybrid class, which means we meet once a week with work on the computer. It kind of pretty much sucks.
On thursday, I got hit on...yea...
I was waiting for my friend to get done with class, so I was sitting in my usual place in building one when I saw my friend Evelyn. I stopped her and we talked for a minute before she had to go, so I said bye and she told me have fun with my paper (I was doing my fairy tale thing) when this guy is like "you already have a paper?" this came from behind me, so to talk to him I had to turn around. So I answer yes, then turn back around. And he says something else again. So I have to turn back around to talk to him. I kind of don't want to talk to him, just work, so i turn back around to my computer. There is a thing called body language. Now, what does turning your back to someone mean? You Don't Want To talk!
This guy didn't get it. But I'm polite and talk to him, turning around and typing furiously to show I was busy. He then introduced himself as Matt and walked up to my table and talked to me for half an hour...I did mention a few time that I had a boyfriend, thinking he'd be deterred...but not. It ended with him asking me to go get ramen with him. I said no and he left...then came back just as i was texting my boyfriend that the whole thing freaked me out...ahahaha. Oh people...
Over al it was a pretty good week. It was tiring but fun. I'm very much enjoying college.
And just so everyone knows, yes I am going to community college and I'm just telling you it doesn't matter. People need to get over the idea that community college can't compare to a four year university. If community college sucked so much 4 year universities wouldn't except any AA degree received at one. Sure 4 years get sparkling reports but that doesn't mean the campus is perfect, the professors are better or the students smarter. Really, the only difference i ever see is that a 4 year is waaaaay more expensive then a community college. I'm happy to hear any responses, I just don't want to be mad fun of or looked down for going to a community college first. When i become a nurse I will be no less prepared for a job then those who went to UCF the entire time. In fact, I could be better then them. I will be better then them. So suck it community college haters!
Loooooooove, Laura

One Day Left

That's it...just one day...
Then I'm a "legit" college girl! My classes start tomorrow!! And it's exciting...but not. I have a 7 a.m. class tomorrow (yuck) but my second class on that day...isn't for another 3 hours...I'll have three hours of nothing to do and no way of getting any where else off campus...total suckage. I guess it is kind of my fault that I don't have a license. But it's not my fault that my three previous car accidents weren't any of my fault either for which have sparked a kind of fear of driving in me...
I'm scared to drive.
and
I'm in college.
Not that i even get a kind of crappy cool first car. I get our 10 year old mini van...that I'll share with my sister...right. let me get right on getting a license...haha.
I don't mean to be bitter about it, but I get constantly teased about not driving. Constantly. While in some cases that would be motivation maybe to show up one day driving and say "FU!!!" to everyone...but it doesn't for me...
So. I will be stuck on campus for three hours doing what I've been doing the whole summer (reading books and going on the computer) I'll just be some where other then my living room couch... :)
It now seems so much less important what I pick to wear for my first day back to school...at least this year. I got new clothes anyway. It was tax free day. :)
Anyway, it's my last day before I go off to get lost and be all shy and awkward because i won't know like anyone. I hope I have a good last day. :)

So much for keeping up with this...ahahah

Right...so...still talking to myself....and didn't keep up with this. ahahah. I thought about it...lol.
Anyway, my current adventures include shopping for a guitar! Ah!!! I've been wanting to learn guitar, especially since I graduated high school and had to leave behind band...music is my passion. :)
So...I've just been looking at cheap things because it's just a beginning one and I'll save up for one worthy once I actually have some kind of skill. I'm just worried that getting it cheap will be getting it crappy...So do i take the risk and just buy one and hope for the best...or buy something else with my money? I'm also buying it online...and sometimes you really just don't know what you're getting until it comes...so to buy or not to buy that is the question. Hmm...i shall have to give it more thought...

The Count Begins!

Tomorrow: Last day of work...yay!!
today: 30 days until my 18th birthday!!!
also today: 18 days until i start my first week of college!!

But man...today sucked...
My crazy bi-polar, double standard boss yelled at us in front of parents...
I work at an art camp (at least for the summer) so parents will come in to drop off/pick up their kids...and she just yelled at in front of everyone! She yells at us for about everything, but still, what happened to professionalism?!

Whatever...she seemed to get over it pretty fast...good thing she was like "you don't have to work next week!" I don't think I could have handled another week with her anyway...



You know...I never thought about keeping a blog before...so I really don't know what I'm doing here...haha. If i had readers I could entertain them with my witty remarks and smooth, intellectual vocabulary. :) ...too bad I'm still talking to myself. ;)
Hmmm...I shall share a quote with...someone maybe...haha.
"...I have had a great amount of luck in this life, and not all of it was bad. But I have enjoyed the greatest of good luck in having the love and protection of my friends."
While in the context of the book she was talking about how her friends have saved her from jail, slavers, british officers, and crazy priests, I like to think that with all my luck in the world, good and bad, I have been blessed to have the friends and family I've been given. After a recent brushing with a rather nasty anonymous message on Facebook, I realized the amazing friends and family I have. They are all so fantastic that my cousin and boyfriend and tons of others, volunteered to travel great distances just to beat up the chick who wrote that. I don't know if I had ever, could ever, fully convene the love and admiration I felt for them all. I really am blessed for everyone in my life...if that maybe on reader I'll eventually get. ;)

Not only crazy people talk to themselves

As of this moment, I speak to only me. :)
...
but I'm swear I'm only crazy when I'm hyper.
So...where to start? i could go anywhere...this blog just got a little more magical.
It awesome to be able to look at something and know you can do anything, form it to become the picture of your perfect creation. Like having a kid with less consequences...a kid with a delete button.
...
Anyway...
I guess it's always a good idea to start with your hopes for something...set out the expectations...
I hope:
-to meet a few new people...maybe get a handful of subscribers and followers
-use this for a creative release for the frustrations and joys of the next year or so..
-and some other stuff. :)

Well, I do believe this blog has lived up to it's title; random but good to know. ;)

to all my faithful readers (somewhere out there....maybe...)
Love you lots!
Laura